Thursday, October 01, 2009

IT Market Nowadays


Here I just thought how job specification would look like, if IT guys would need to drive a regular city bus. :-)


Job Specifications

City bus driver from 9:30AM to 3:30PM.

Job Type

contract, part time.

Salary

Negotiable, but no more than $1000 per month.

Requirements

Bicycle skydiving, motorcycle, car and truck licenses, repair and maintenance knowledge, tramway and trolley-bus at least 5 years experience. Additionally, ultra-high demolition excavators such as Caterpillar 385D operation, haulage and earthmoving equipment on off-road vehicles experience, military armored bulldozer D9, rocket launcher truck and tank Abrams driving at least 1 year experience.

Successful candidate also should have knowledge flying F16, PhD in engine manufacturing and engineering, license for shooting magnum .44 gun and must have at least 5 (five) jumps with a parachute.

Having 500 hours flight as a crew captain with Boeing 747 is a plus. Being an astronaut team leader with at least month in a space is a plus. Knowing some specific details about Apollo 13 and landing on a Moon is a plus, but not that much necessary, however it might affect salary negotiations.

If you are interested, we are waiting you for an interview. You will have 10 interviews, 4 tests and 2 brainbench in a gym.

Other notes

You must not be married.

1 comment:

A said...

As a guy in the IT field for more than 10 years, I couldn't agree more. The expectations for the average tech position requires supernatural powers.

Continuing with your analogy I'd like to add to the requirements: an intimate knowledge of oceanic submarine engineering and repair principles for Nemo's Nautilus even though there will be no information on its existence including the ability to forgo a personal life *indefinitely* to reconcile conflicts between a variety of land-, sea- and air-based vehicles driving, floating and flying in the same space while their operators speak different languages.